How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
