ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize