We're like a lot better than the average bears
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
