Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
