a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Vodka?
Forever.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
