OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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