Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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