porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
