im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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