So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
