I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
