It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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