sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His hands were made for my vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
