So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
