hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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