I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
