We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
