i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
