that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
