Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize