Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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