I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
