True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
