You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
