Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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