I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize