I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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