Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
