Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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