No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
how does that bad decision feel?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
