i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
