I showed him my bush... on skype.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
