You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
