he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
