Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
