took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
