Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
