im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
