why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
