our cab driver is having phone sex.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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