You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
