I feel like I'm in dance class right now
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
