yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
