He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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