ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
