That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
