how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
