i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Small penises have feelings too.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
