i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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