she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
