im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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