He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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