If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
