champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
