I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
