I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
