you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Randomize
