Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
