okay pat passed out under dana's car
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize