What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
