I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
